
NDLSKMindful Living, Self-Love & Empowerment, Mental Health1 year ago278 Views
In the rush of everyday life, we often overlook the important moments—the small, meaningful experiences that truly define our happiness. Why do we focus so much on goals and achievements, forgetting the things that matter most?
This series of articles explores what truly makes life fulfilling, gives it meaning, and leaves a lasting mark on our hearts. We’ll talk about what really matters and how we can become more mindful of our priorities.
Here’s the list of articles in this series:
You’re at the end of your life. Sitting in silence, you look back and reflect on how you spent your years. What will you remember? Sleepless nights spent working? Bonuses and job titles? Endless to-do lists that filled your days? Probably not.
You’ll remember the moments when you felt truly alive—warm evenings with loved ones, the sound of children’s laughter filling your home with joy, your child’s first steps, their voice, the love in their eyes. You’ll recall holding hands with someone you cherished, watching sunrises in unfamiliar cities, feeling the ocean touch your feet during your travels.
But why is it that in our daily lives, we rarely stop to think about what really matters? Why do we chase goals that, in the end, don’t bring us lasting fulfillment instead of appreciating the present moment?

Most people rush through life. Mornings turn into races to work, afternoons fill with deadlines, evenings overflow with household chores, and weekends consume accumulated responsibilities. We pack our days full but rarely pause to ask ourselves a simple question: “Why am I doing this? What is it all for?”
Modern society encourages a lifestyle focused on constant busyness. We’ve learned to believe that the more tasks we tackle, the more significant and successful we become. But that’s not always the case. Often, we lose touch with the present moment, valuing quantity over the quality of our actions. As a result, we move forward day after day, unaware that life is not a destination—it’s the journey itself.
There’s a well-known parable about a fisherman and a businessman. The businessman saw the fisherman catching fish and then resting. He said:
– “Why don’t you catch more fish? Then you could buy a bigger boat.”
– “And why would I do that?” asked the fisherman.
– “Then you could earn more money, buy a fleet, start a company, and become successful!”
– “And why would I do that?” the fisherman asked again.
– “So that you could relax and enjoy life.”
– The fisherman smiled and replied:
– “And what do you think I’m doing right now?”
This story is a metaphor for many of us. We strive for success and achievements, not realizing that we already possess what matters for happiness—time for ourselves, our loved ones, and life’s simple joys. We spend years postponing happiness for ‘later,’ forgetting that ‘later’ might never come.
People caught up in the ‘pursuit of success’ often overlook the fact that true values don’t lie in what we can buy or achieve. Everything that truly matters is already within reach—in the experiences we have here and now. We often live with a “tomorrow” mindset, forgetting to live today.
The illusion of urgency often pushes us to work from dawn till dusk, creating the feeling that constant hustle is the only path to success. But when we view life as a long process, we begin to understand that what matters is not the quantity but the quality of the moments we experience.
We shouldn’t turn our lives into a race for something imposed from the outside. Instead of seeking meaning in endless tasks and accomplishments, we must enjoy the process, cherish the fleeting moments, and set genuine priorities—those that relate to our inner harmony and happiness.

From childhood, society instills certain ideas about success in us. We hear: “You need to study hard to get into a good university. You need to secure a prestigious job, earn money, buy a house, a car, and secure your future.”
But society rarely tells us that career success does not equal life success. We learn to be productive, but we don’t learn how to be happy.
From the very beginning of life, society creates a formula for success, typically focusing on external achievements—money, status, and material possessions. Society grades us on completing tasks and reaching goals, but it rarely explains that true happiness lies beyond these external criteria.
In the West, society considers those who build a career and earn money successful. In Eastern cultures, especially in Japan and China, people associate success more with family, legacy, and societal respect. However, in both cases, one problem persists: people often chase external recognition and forget about inner harmony. Society rewards visible success but fails to teach us to seek fulfillment within ourselves.
We become slaves to societal standards, striving to meet others’ expectations without considering that each of us can have a unique vision of success, independent of external factors. Often, we forget that real life and true happiness do not depend on what we have but on how we relate to what we have.
Research shows that after reaching a certain income level (around $75,000–$90,000 per year), increasing wealth no longer makes a person happier. Yet we continue to chase money because society dictates: “You must strive for more.” In reality, we do not always realize that our desire for more material possessions is often just a reflection of someone else’s ideals, not our own.
The habit of comparing ourselves to others and constantly striving for more keeps us restless, creating the illusion that “more” means “better.” We fail to notice how we lose connection with what truly matters: our loved ones, ourselves, and the things that bring us genuine pleasure and joy.
And so, when we reach the peak we dreamed of, it turns out that it does not bring the satisfaction we expected. In the pursuit of external recognition, we lose not only time but also precious moments that could have been the source of true happiness.

People get used to a certain rhythm of life and choose familiar paths, even if they don’t bring happiness, simply because they fear the unknown.
Imagine someone telling you: “If you continue living like this, you won’t be happy in 10 years.” What would you change?
Most people change nothing because change requires energy and courage. We’re afraid to let go of stability, even if that stability doesn’t bring us joy.
But what if stability is an illusion? We believe that staying in our comfort zone gives us control over our lives, but in reality, it holds us back. The habits we consider safe can become the source of our passivity, preventing us from unlocking our full potential.
Change is inevitable; it happens constantly, even when we don’t notice it. And if we don’t make the decision to move forward, to evolve, to grow, life will still bring change—often in the most unexpected and painful ways. Issues at work, relationship problems, health struggles—all of these can be the result of avoiding change.
Our habits, even if they don’t bring us happiness, give us a sense of control. We think stability equals security, but in truth, it’s often just an illusion of control, masking our fear of what might happen if we step into the unknown.
The fear of change often stems from the fear of failure and the uncertainty of situations where we can’t control the outcome. However, without taking that step and embracing risks, we can’t grow. Without change, true happiness remains out of reach.
Life doesn’t wait for us to gather courage. If we don’t decide what matters to us, external circumstances will decide for us. And then change comes in the form of a crisis, forcing us out of our comfort zone. One way or another, we face a choice: embrace change willingly or confront it when it becomes inevitable.

When people look back on their lives in their final moments, almost no one talks about their career. But everyone remembers:
Psychologist Daniel Kahneman identified two types of happiness:
The balance between these two types of happiness gives life meaning. However, it’s important to note that the happiness from travel or new experiences fades as those memories dim. Family, children, and long-term relationships provide a lasting foundation. They remain with us forever, in our hearts and minds.
Moreover, the more love and care we give to those around us, the more meaning we find not only in our days but also in our entire lives. It’s like building a house: travel provides colorful bricks that can easily be replaced, but the foundation built through love and close relationships never disappears.
The balance between instant joys and long-term fulfillment can be the force that helps us stay grounded amidst the chaos and find true value in the simple things we already have. Life doesn’t demand countless “great achievements” from us; it invites us to find happiness in what’s already within reach.

The first step is to realize that the autopilot mode of life steers us away from true happiness. We often live out of habit, following routines without noticing how days and years slip by, losing connection with what truly matters to us.
The second step is to start asking yourself important questions:
If the answer to the first question is “no,” what can you change today? This isn’t just a question; it’s an invitation to action. We can’t afford to go through life without reflecting on what truly matters to us. Sometimes, all it takes is small steps: reevaluating priorities, letting go of meaningless tasks, and choosing activities that bring genuine fulfillment.
Recognizing that our journey is not just a mechanical sequence of events but a conscious choice is key. With each new day, we can take a step toward what truly holds meaning. But the important thing is to start. By asking ourselves these questions, we begin to seek answers, and in doing so, we become active participants in our own transformation.

Throughout this article, we’ve reflected on what truly matters in our lives. We explored how automation and habits distance us from recognizing what’s genuinely important, and how societal stereotypes about happiness and success often lure us into pursuing goals that don’t bring real fulfillment.
As we ask ourselves questions about life, about what we will leave behind, and about the moments that truly give our lives meaning, a new picture begins to emerge. It’s a path not measured by career achievements or the accumulation of material wealth, but by what lives within us and those close to us. It’s a journey in search of inner harmony, balancing fleeting happiness with long-term satisfaction.
However, another important question arises: why do we often feel that a successful career and material possessions are the ultimate goals worth pursuing? Why do we chase them as if they hold the key to true happiness?
We’ll find the answers to these questions in the next article. It will reveal how the perception of the importance of career achievements and material wealth can create an illusion, distracting us from what truly matters.
Read the next article: 2. The Illusion of Significance: Career Achievements and Material Values.
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